Waiting

Where will we be one and a half weeks from today?

Photo by Emily Wade on Unsplash

Much as I’ve resolved not to obsess about “the election” (the term requires no explanation, we all know what it means), the impending reality of November 5th weighs on me nonetheless. There’s an oppressive feeling of heaviness in my chest. I can and most often do ignore it. But it never goes away completely.

Would it be too “woo” to think that some sort of malignant energy has been coursing through the American air for years now? That an ill wind has been blowing? And that whether we want to admit it or not, each one of us has been affected? Some, to be sure, drastically more than others. But everyone nonetheless.

An untold number of people have experienced severe trauma as a direct result of the political events of the past eight or so years. Others have come through unscathed; some have even benefitted. But overall, it feels like there has been a level of spiritual disease / dis-ease in the land that’s unlike anything most native-born Americans have previously experienced in their lifetimes. Which may simply mean that we’ve been extremely sheltered. But it’s a shock to the body politic nonetheless.

If this sense of being collectively afflicted by some new spiritual malignancy is correct, then it will still need to be countered no matter who wins the election. Because having either Harris or Trump become President won’t make it magically go away. In fact, it may get worse either way.

While I don’t like the idea, I can’t help but suspect that the only way out of America’s current impasse of political/cultural division and stagnation — and its attendant tidal waves of collective fear, anger, resentment, and hate — is through some period of disruptive chaos. If so, that’s scary. Because while such a time could lead to renewed creativity and positive change, it could also easily lead to intensified negativity and destruction.

My best guess is that if Harris wins, the establishment Democrats will try to suppress any further dissent and disruption, to contain and control it. They and their partisan supporters think that sounds really good, as they blame everything bad on Trump and his presumptive minions. Consequently, in their view, it (illogically) seems that the only way to “save democracy” is to completely crush anything seen as part of the upstart political movement that commands the loyalty of roughly half of the voting public. Then — voila! — everything is supposed to be OK.

Given that the Dems have become the party of technocratic elites who manage our most important cultural institutions (academia, legacy media, professional associations, etc.) and have been working assiduously to control the flow of information via Big Tech, this worries me tremendously. This is especially true because we’ve already lost the sense of freedom I grew up with and used to take for granted. And while I know that my many Democrat friends would disagree, I see that party as the home of the nexus of political, professional, philanthropic, and activist forces responsible for that.

Alternatively, if Trump wins, he’ll almost certainly remain Divider- and-Disrupter-in-Chief. That also worries me tremendously. Trump has his finger on the pulse of the fears, hypocrisies, and blind spots of his opponents just as much as he does on the fears, resentments, and aspirations of his supporters. And he’s expert at rousing, channeling, and exploiting both. Like some weird reincarnation of the quintessentially American P. T. Barnum, Trump has a preternatural ability to play today’s insane three-ring circus of legacy media, social media, and partisan politics to his advantage.

While I’ve come to understand and accept Trumpism much more over the years and now see the Democrats’ nonstop charges of fascism (etc. etc. etc.) as dangerously divisive deflections from their own failings, the man still worries me. He channels his charisma into building a cult of personality. He’s untethered, unpredictable, and volatile. He speaks in nonstop hyperbole. He can turn from being charming and humorous to vicious and menacing on a dime. And while I think that the charge that January 6th was an attempted “coup” is overblown, Trump's role in it all was alarming.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Trump is the antithesis of the sort of old-school statesman I’d ideally like to see as President, someone who’s respected and respectable, has a positive and unifying vision for the country, is deeply knowledgeable about foreign and domestic policy, and inspires us to listen to “the better angels of our nature.” Of course, looking at the pathetic state of American political institutions and discourse today, I’m not holding my breath on that score . . . and honestly, I’m doubtful such a person could succeed in today’s hyper-partisan, big-money-driven, relentlessly memeified, algorithmically-driven culture.

Beyond my unhappiness with our two choices, I find the very real possibility that the election could produce an inconclusive statemate even more worrisome. To my mind, the safest outcome for the country would be a decisive win either way. Given how dreadfully interminable this election season has been, the thought of it going on even after it’s supposed to be over is bad beyond words. Yet it could easily happen.

America’s electoral system is absurd. Obscene amounts of money are spent to swing the votes of a minuscule number of people living in select counties in a handful of states. Everywhere else, the outcome is 100% predictable. This guarantees razor-thin margins and easily disputable results. Combine that with the avalanche of recount demands and court challenges that are sure to follow the election, and it could easily turn out to prolong rather than end this terrible waiting game.

On top of these apprehensions, I don’t doubt that there’s a dangerous minority of people walking around out there with Internet-poisoned psyches and hair-trigger tempers. They’re boiling pots of rage and resentment, and (to mix metaphors) just itching for a fight. Contrary to what Blue Staters assume, this problem is significantly worse on the left than the right. Consequently, I’m particularly worried about violent street protests in the wake of a Trump victory setting off a terrible chain reaction.

Given all these apprehensions (and more I’ll spare you), my current conclusion is that the best thing that most of us can do is to remember to never put politics first. Of course, it’s important. No question about that. But we’re lost — both individually and collectively — unless we’re able to internalize and act on the understanding that other things have always been and will always remain much more important. Take your pick: God, Spirit, The Universe. Family, friends, community. Honesty, integrity, character. Wisdom, generativity, courage. Nature. Wonder. And love.

We’re constantly being told that nothing else matters compared to the threat to our country posed by Harris or Trump. But that’s manipulative political BS. It’s not true. The more we can remind ourselves of that fact and live accordingly, the better off we’ll be. And in the end, it’s really the only way to heal America’s current spiritual crisis, no matter who wins the election.